Have you read "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" (IHTSBIH) by Tucker Max?
It's a great read. Tucker gives you a lot of laughs in the book.
He also provides some wisdom and perspective that I was lacking.
It's worth a read.
But importantly, you must remember that IHTSBIH is a collection of Urban Sexual Myths.
Excessive use of Astroglide, drinking for effect with a personal breathalyser and Tucker's other stories have a character that would be common to all men, yet impossible for one man to experience.
One anecdote Tucker relates; is a girl who comes to see him for a short visit prior to going on a date. The scenario is "Friends With Benefits" (FWB) and this time she sucks Tucker's cock and then goes on to her date with another man.
When Tucker's booty call girl blows him prior to a date, Tucker strangely begins to feel less of a hero (for getting some chump's future date to blow him) and identify more with the chump himself. How would he know if some woman had fucked someone else, or had some other form of sex with someone PRIOR to Tucker having sex with them?
What if the guy Tucker was laughing at, for kissing the mouth he'd ejaculated into earlier, was really him in a similar scenario?
So let's run with this idea.
I'm sure that I have NEVER been "dirtier" than ANY woman I have had sex with.
Even though I try, I have constantly been surprised by every sweet young innocent thing I have labouriously coaxed and begged into bed.
I've done some shit I haven't exactly been proud of, but it was only to please them... I never realised I was so good at spanking!
"I like it when guys use me" is a good one, I actually had a woman tell me this on our first date. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror for a while after that evening, I tell ya.
They're ALL dirty. (Except for our mothers, and more on that later...)
"I'd actually respect you MORE if you did have sex with me on the first date." I said to one young lady (prior to having sex with her), It WORKED. I wanted to fuck her and she wanted to fuck me , so what's the issue here?
No sex 'till the third date. I was a chump who believed that for years...
So, that hot chick, who's mouth wouldn't melt butter (that is, until the lights go out) and who is generous enough to come around and fuck your brains out once a week is doing you a favour. How many other guys could she be doing that favour for?
This gets Tucker thinking, and got me to think about something too.
How much sex could a single attractive woman get, if she wanted?
Could she get as much as she wanted? I'm sure she could.
Overheard in the shops between to teenage girls one day:
"...but I'm not a slut, because so and so's had more sexual relationships than me."
That's a pretty mobile basement for judgement, isn't it? As long as you know someone who's had more sexual partners than you have, you're not a slut...
If you've had more sexual partners than anyone else in the room, then you're the slut (until you start hanging around with a bigger slut).
What's the definition of a slut?
A women who will fuck anyone.
What's the definition of a bitch?
A woman who fucks everyone but me...
And when you're on a first date and the question "how many sexual partners have you had" comes up, there is no right "truthfull" answer.
In my experience the female answer is ALWAYS more than three, but less than seven. (Except for one who said it was none and I ran like a flock of seagulls song...) If its MORE than seven, they feel like they're a slut ('cause they can't say that their friend Melissa has had more than a hundred at this time without giving the game away, cause they're hanging with a slut.)
ALWAYS. >3 but <7.
Guys, you can't (and shouldn't) count hookers when you answer this question.
The Oldest Profession is frowned upon by women (even though ALL the hookers I have known were women). Maybe its that hookers put a cash value on something that you don't have to pay for until the divorce. (Make no mistake my son, you ALWAYS pay for sex) More on hookers in a later post...
But I look at it this way, you don't pay prostitutes to sleep with you, you pay them to leave afterwards...
Guys, don't tell the truth on this one. If it's LESS than three, say its three, if it's MORE than seven, say seven.
But don't say "seven" as soon as she asks, she'll know you're lying!
After she asks (and she ALWAYS will) pause, look up in the air (NOT AT THE GROUND), maybe rub your chin or something and look into her eyes, smile and say "seven, I think, it could be less." Nod a little to, if you want to add a bit more emphasis and believability.
The smile is the teaspoon of sugar that makes the lie accepted.
People don't smile when they lie...
And Girls, if any of you made it this far, I DO empathise with you. I realise you want a committed relationship with a hot wealthy well endowed man.
You have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince...
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